The Year Santa Stopped Existing Part 2 (of 3)

So what is the point of this incredibly long and horrible tangent about Santa Clause when we were talking about loading a casserole in the trunk? Calm down, we will get there, but before we do let me tell you bought this thing that happened during late 80s and early 90s that no one seems to remember, the great console war.

I was there man, you weren’t there, you weren’t there man (and all my apologies and thanks to veterans, my joke there was in bad taste but was meant as a parody of the line delivery from Jacob’s Ladder, a movie I highly recommend that handles the topic with way more class and dignity than I ever could imagine. I wasn’t a soldier, so I am thankful for all who fought the good fight so that I could be free to make dumb ass jokes that come off in bad taste, If you were offended, I am sorry, but maybe my writing isn’t going to be for you no, hard feelings?). Nintendo fan boys would gather up at lunch break and go around shanking the cool innocent Sega kids. Everyone ignored the Atari fanboys (and no one knew what the fuck the kid talking about TurboGrafix was rambling about, he kept hitting his head on the wall yelling BONK, he was way too Gnarly), but anyways 1988 was early days of the 2nd Offensive of the Great Console War, see Atari had already fought through the Great War of 82 and unfortunately it was a Pyrrhic victory. They won, by in order to do so they destroyed the industry, flooding it with shite games and dropping prices and stock so fast that stores and by extension the consumers had lost all faith in the industry. Atari fought on but in the following years Nintendo had become the market leader and had all but pushed Atari from relevancy by this point, but from the far west of Hawaii came Sega (I wish I could find out how to phrase it in a way you knew that I was doing the version of the “Sega” jingle from Sonic intro) first with the kinda failure of the Master System (in Us it was not a great seller and very few kids had one in the area I grew up in, although oddly one of my good friends (well kid that hung around with me more because he thought my sister was cute and shit) Stephen the Heathen’s family had one (and a NES, and 7800, and eventually a Sega Gen and I’m pretty sure a AES, I don’t have the slightest idea what it was either of his parents did but they sure spent cash) and I had enjoyed it, but this isn’t about the Master System, its about the one that started the biggest Console war, its about Sega doing what Nintendon’t. See in August of 89 Sega released the Genesis unto North America. A 16 bit(!!!) powerhouse that just smashed the NES power wise, and I can not explain this to you in a way that you will understand if you were not there but it completely destroyed everything else visually. I had to have it.

See I was a big video game nerd. I had been playing video games since at least 1984, during the Video Game Crash of 83, before the build back happened my mom’s boyfriend picked up an Atari 2600 and a half dozen games from a pawn shop (that is what we were told at the time, but I heard rumblings way back then that it might have been stolen and he bought it from a friend, either way I really don’t think he stole it, not that he wouldn’t ever steal but video games were not something valuable enough to steal like that in 1984 for him, he would of taken tools or something he would of gotten use out of, I don’t really have the best memories of him and much of the pain in my life he is either directly or indirectly responsible for, by acting like he was the devil doing evil just to do evil at all times, well that isn’t the memory I have, he was no angel as I have stated, but that doesn’t make him a devil either, for years in my mind he was, but that isn’t the truth), and when he hooked it up, I was instantly addicted. Breakout, Pitfall and Asteroids became what I wanted to do (as long as GI Joe, Thundercats and MOTU were not on.) and I became a gamer before gamer was a thing. My family transitioned to an NES in late 86, I think we got that for Christmas too, and while it was for the family, I had it on my TV when I finally got my one room.  I was a gamer and had fallen in love with Mario, Zelda (yeah I didnt realize Princess Zelda was who the game was named after, bright but it went right over my head, not cause sexists reasons as some would imply, I just hadnt played a game at that point that was named after a character other than the main character (that I was area of, I called Samus Metroid and the guys from Contra were Contra Bill and Contra Lance.  I knew Samus was a female and it made no difference, I played Barbies with my sisters, think I gave a shit if the character on my screen killing aliens and kicking ass peed sitting down? I didnt care, I wanted to kick ass and save people) and all the other great NES games.  But by the time the Genesis had launched, I had to have it, more than half my life had been waiting for this thing.
       But we couldnt afford it.

Five kids and life meant we wouldnt get it this year, not the end of the world, funny enough the previous year I had gotten a bunch of GI Joes(as I would again this year), but for this one, my mom had stuffed them in a box for a lamp, I guess thinking I would be dissapointed by it, I wasnt, I was excited for my new lamp, she had to tell me to open it up and check it out, it had Joes in it, way cooler and I enjoyed them, but I would of loved used rocks, I cared that it was something new for my imagination to create with, what it was wasnt the important thing, not saying I didnt want certain toys, but I had less of an expectation that I would get them than a hope that I would.

Next month:We complete this prelude to Christmas story with the entire point of the thing.