A Blog That Isn't A Blog But An Excuse Why I Didn't Write A Blog This Week

So life can be a bitch sometimes.

That was the lesson for the week. I have mental health and physical health issues that both flare up on occasion, sometimes minor sometimes major. Well this week both decided to flare up in major ways. My physical health issues are what they are, I have multiple three foot metal rods about eighteen screws and a few spacers in my spine (dumb high school sports injury that I didn’t get fixed got worse and this is the outcome), it hurts twenty four seven but not one tenth of what it did before my surgery. I have hip issues, directly related to my pelvis being moved from the nearly twenty years of my back being screwed. I will require a full hip replacement at some point soon, doctors are just not ready to do it on me because of my age, if I was a decade older no issue but do to it needing to be readjusted every so often they simply want to give me temporary fixes to prevent it from getting worse until then. These are not the physical issues that prevented me from working this week.

I have fucked up skin. Like its hyper sensitive. I can only use pre surgery scrub. I can not use any regular soap or body wash, it causes my skin to get boils or hives extremely bad. And sometimes even if I take every precaution I should take I still get them, this week was one of those times. I won’t go into details beyond that but just that they come with nausea and fever and this week they kinda whooped my ass so I did not work on anything that required creativity. I did work on my “917 Comics to Read” nonfiction book but that was about all I did from a writing perspective. Did some business side stuff as well but nothing of note.

The other concern this week was my mental health. Now how directly the first is tied to the second is questionable but docs have suggested as the second(mental health) gets worse, in particular my anxiety, it can lead to more of the first(skin issues) which in then leads to more anxiety, rinse repeat complete the circle of life. As for why my anxiety was an issue, in the last two weeks Ive had an anniversary (great time, but always worried of disappointing my wife), went to court for my daughter to take my name(stressful for numerous reasons), I went to one of my daughters football games to watch her color guard team perform and to walk her across field on Senior night(my anxiety is bad enough that even going to the store is something I rarely if ever do, there are weeks at a time I do not leave the house) plus a few other things on and off last few weeks had gotten to me.
This isn’t even mentioning the stress that launching a company, publishing my first work and just being a husband and father has given me. Do not get it twisted, it’s all worth it, the juice is worth every bit of the squeeze and then some, this is what I signed up for. Its just this week I needed to take a few days off to reset myself, remind myself why and how I’m doing this and get refocused. I’m not making excuses, this is me, sometimes I disappear for a week or so because I simply can not handle life. It isn’t personal, it isn’t very professional but it is on the 100, me. I’m the problem. I get that and I will try to do better in the future but if my health requires it then I will take a week off every now and again, I will in the future try to have a backup blog to go up instead of having to pump one out as an excuse instead.
Stay Healthy, take care of yourselves and each other, physically and emotionally.

Im Nate, you are you, till next time My Rebels